Men Are More Romantic Than Women. This Is Why

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Men like action movies, women like romantic flicks. Women dream of their wedding day, but men prefer to "play the field" for as long as they can. These gender stereotypes are widely accepted when it comes to relationships.

Beyond gender stereotypes

And yet, the reality seems to be quite different. An article recently published in Scientific American explains how men actually crave a stable relationship more than women do. The article comments on a specific study, published under the title: "Romantic Relationships Matter More to Men than to Women." This may appear counterintuitive, but the authors explain that men expect to obtain greater benefits from a mixed-gender relationship, so they are more motivated to find a romantic partner. And they are right: They do benefit more from a romantic relationship. Many studies have shown that single men have worse mental and physical health than married men. Finally, the paper also states that men are less likely to initiate breakups and that they may suffer more during breakups when they do happen (although I am a bit skeptical about how it is possible to prove this last claim empirically).

Men are frequently not brought up to develop emotional skills or to have emotionally meaningful relationships with male friends or family members. Because of this, they often have more unmet emotional needs that require the solace and reassurance of an intimate and meaningful relationship.

"Playing the field" is, in fact, largely futile, necessitates enormous amounts of energy and resources, and is very stressful. It may be true that men have wider and less specific sexual appetites than women, but when all is said and done, they, too, need to love and feel loved. In fact, it seems that their need to love and feel loved may be even more acute and urgent than that of women.

"I love you"

Research has shown that men say “I love you” before women do. The authors of this study claim that this is not a culturally bound issue, but a transcultural one. In other words, men tend to arrive first at the momentous point of declaring their love, and this is the case in all cultures. Saying "I love you" is very significant because the person who says it is baring his feelings, and he is also uncovering his emotional needs, making himself very vulnerable in the process, He is, in fact, stating that, unless she loves him back, he will be enormously hurt, and that he is prepared to go all the way with her. Risky.

Does it matter?

Whether men are more romantic than women, or the other way around, is probably not that transcendental in real terms. However, what is important is that these studies help dispel the myth that men are just sexual machines, utterly unconcerned with the emotional aspects of a relationship.

Men can be romantic, too.