5 Powerful Ways to Boost Teen Mental Health

Mother and teen son portrait against gray background

Source: Volha Yemialyantsava/Vecteezy/used with permission

There is a free and powerful tool available for improving teen mental health; connected relationships. While everyone needs connection, for teens it can be a literal lifeline. As adolescents evolve into themselves and begin navigating the world beyond family, their focus understandably shifts toward peer relationships. They are seeking acceptance, belonging, and a sense of affiliation. During this process of trial and error—trying to “find their people”—they are in a precarious place. They crave connection, acceptance, and a sense of belonging, but the journey can be rocky.

That's why it's critical for teens to have stable, predictable connections to anchor them. While peers are critical infrastructure for development, caregivers and helping adults serve as the grounding stakes, tethering them during a time of great change, growth, and necessary risk-taking. These connections have the greatest power to influence and protect adolescents’ emotional health and wellbeing.

The Profound Benefits of Connection

Connectedness offers powerful protective and healing effects for both teens and the adults who love them. We, as parents and helping adults, have more influence on the teen mental health crisis than we sometimes realize. In his 2021 Advisory, Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy identified teen mental health and suicide rates as a public health crisis—and emphasized connection and relationships as critical interventions. Even before the pandemic, the CDC’s 2017 report, Preventing Suicide: A Technical Package of Policies, Programs, and Practices, recommended promoting connectedness through peer norms and community engagement to foster healthy coping.

Research continually affirms this: Gallup’s 2023 report with the Institute for Family Studies, Parenting is the Key to Adolescent Mental Health, highlighted that secure emotional attachment—a key mechanism of connection—strongly predicts mental and emotional wellness for children and teens. Additional studies show that teens who experience connected relationships with parents and caregivers not only enjoy better health outcomes but also maintain close relationships into adulthood.

Despite how essential connection is, cultivating it with young people can feel incredibly complicated. Adolescents are wired to separate and self-sustain ("I don't need you, I can do it!"), while adults are wired to nurture and protect (we can see a train wreck coming from a mile away). Balancing these dual evolutionary pulls takes thoughtful effort. How can we foster a genuine sense of connection that honors both their need for autonomy and their need for attachment?

Here are 5 keys to cultivate connection—and common traps to avoid:

1. Give Up Control to Build Trust

Helping adults tend to be excellent problem-solvers. Our years of experience often show us what teens should do—or avoid. It’s tempting to control outcomes by nagging, power-struggling, judging, or punishing. These responses can breed rebellion, withdrawal, dishonesty, and resentment rather than connection. Instead, allow teens to articulate their own goals and use those goals as the basis for guidance. Phrases like, “Have you thought about…” or “There are pros and cons to everything…” help teens practice thoughtful decision-making. When we walk beside them rather than dragging them toward our preferred outcomes, connection flourishes.

2. Share Rather Than Preach Your Values

We naturally want to influence teens' beliefs and values. When they perceive our input as controlling, directive or dismissive of their emerging identities, they are likely to tune us out.Instead, share your values and perspectives authentically—as your truth, not the truth. Acknowledge that their views may differ and show curiosity to learn more. This approach invites dialogue and creates a safe space for teens to explore and develop their own meaning systems while feeling connected to us. Even more powerful than speech is living your values demonstrably.

3. Hold Them Accountable with Care and Confidence

Consequences can build connection when they are delivered thoughtfully. When teens inevitably make mistakes, responding without judgment and helping them look forward fosters trust and growth. Avoid statements like “You always do this” or “You’ll never learn,” which can sow shame and disconnection. Natural consequences (like receiving a lower grade after a lack of effort) or logical consequences (losing driving privileges to reflect on safety) help teens learn without feeling shamed. Start by asking them how they feel about their results or actions. When consequences are tied to a positive belief in that teen’s potential rather than their flaws, we reinforce their self-worth and build stronger bonds.

4. Accept Mistakes Without Judgment

Mistakes, even big ones, are a natural part of growing up. Teens need to know that our love and belief in them is not conditional. Judgment, shame, and rejection after mistakes not only harm connection but can trigger harmful coping mechanisms, including self-harm or suicidality in vulnerable teens. A connected approach involves accountability and an unwavering belief in their capacity for growth. Remember: our responses to mistakes aren’t about punishing the past—they’re about teaching for the future.

5. Be Their Biggest Fan

As we observe teens grow and mature it can feel tempting to imagine them being the human we envision. We may even feel urges to redirect them should they make choices that stray from our imagined path. This can risk teens feeling misunderstood or invalidated, which is an experience of disconnection. Rather than presupposing their identity, watch in wonder and awe at their trials, errors, and accomplishments, big and small. Reinforce their efforts at authenticity and therefore vulnerability by encouraging them to be who they are and express themselves with truth and integrity. Find the things they do that you wish you could, and thank them for teaching you something new. This sense of feeling deeply appreciated promotes trust, and builds lifelong bonds.

As you think about your interactions with the teens in your life, ask yourself: Which behaviors build connection—and which might unintentionally create distance? Building meaningful connectedness isn’t always easy, but it’s one of the most powerful tools we have to support teen mental health and wellbeing. Your belief in them, steady presence, and willingness to choose connection, though at times hard, can make all the difference. When we all experience connection, life feels more meaningful, which for teens, is not only vital for their emotional wellbeing—it can literally be life-saving.