A Tool for Self-Treating Psychological Paper Cuts

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Imagine these scenarios:

• A friend makes a comment that upsets you.
• A colleague takes credit for your work.
• A trusted health care provider is leaving town.
• You catch your kid lying and start worrying about them.
• You arrive at a vacation accommodation you carefully chose, and it's far inferior to what you expected.

Similar events happen to all of us, so you probably didn't need to imagine very hard!

These events are psychological paper cuts.

What Is a Psychological Paper Cut?

They're little mental injuries. You might think, "Maybe they justify some psychological first aid, but maybe they don't." You're probably busy, so you plough on with your day, and just feel the sting a little.

If you're feeling vulnerable, if the paper cuts add up, or if you're prone to rumination or anxiety, relatively minor mental injuries can still significantly hurt.

For all these reasons, it's helpful to have a low-effort, low-commitment tool for when you experience these paper cuts.

An Emotional Balm

This tool was inspired by Six Hats, a technique for considering multiple perspectives. Our version isn't about problem-solving; it's purely focused on feeling better.

This tool uses AI, but you can adapt it without AI if preferred. Getting an external perspective helps, so find another way to do that if you're not keen on AI.

Here's the prompt you can use:

"Today, I experienced an emotional paper cut. This is what happened: [Insert a two-to-three-sentence description]. How would someone with each of these five mindsets react: a carefree person, a stoic, a mindfulness enthusiast, a strategist, and a scientist? My goal isn't advice—it's to step into different frames of thinking."

Example Answer

Consider this example scenario: My boss seemed to dismiss an idea when we were talking about it, but then presented it to his boss, without any further feedback or credit to me.

Below are potential responses from different mindsets.

Carefree: Well, that's just how things go sometimes. People are busy, and maybe he didn't even realize what happened. No big deal. It'll all work itself out.

Stoic: The external world is outside my control. It's unfortunate, but I can control only how I respond. If my idea has value, it will stand on its own merit, regardless of who presents it.

Mindfulness enthusiast: This situation feels frustrating, but I'll sit with this emotion without judgment. I can observe the feeling of disappointment without letting it define me.

Strategist: I need a plan to protect my ideas. I'll document them clearly and share them in ways that ensure my contributions are visible and acknowledged. I can't control my boss's actions, but I can control how I present and secure credit for my work moving forward.

Scientist: I'll need to assess the facts here. First, was my idea truly overlooked, or could there have been a misunderstanding? Did I present it in a way that was clear enough? I should test different ways of presenting ideas to see if I get different outcomes. I'll also observe if my boss tends to act this way with others and whether this is a common pattern.

No One Likes Being Told How to Think

No one likes being told how to think, but exploring various mindsets lets you try different thinking styles without obligation, cherry-picking what helps.

Evaluate the thinking styles based on their helpfulness. Do they help you feel better? Do they nudge you to a more balanced perspective? Don't evaluate them for strict truthfulness or universal applicability, only helpfulness in your current situation.

The unpredictable nature of the AI's responses can add to the lightness of this tool. You don't know what you'll get, but it takes 30 seconds to try, and it could be super helpful.

Variations

• The three core mindsets I like to use are stoic, mindful, and carefree. For the other two, you can mix it up. Other variations include the rebel or the mentor. Feel free to use your imagination and intuition for what would help you.
• You can give the AI more context about your situation from the outset. However, I prefer giving a brief description, adding clarification only if misunderstood.

Stress Essential Reads

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Tips

• If you don't get a helpful response, hit re-roll to regenerate the response. Alternatively, guide the AI tool by clarifying what you want in a follow-up prompt.
• If one of the mindset imaginings was weaker than you hoped, ask it to try that one again.
• Don't be afraid to hit the re-roll button repeatedly. Re-rolling (versus re-prompting) is underutilized with AI. This principle also closely aligns with the spirit of this exercise. It's about quickly trying different mindsets with low pressure and commitment.
• All the usual warnings related to using AI apply to this. It's not a substitute for a psychologist. You’ll probably want to turn off settings that allow the AI provider to train their models on your data. Importantly, if you're feeling especially vulnerable or if you're not in a mental state to ignore any unhelpful or unpredictable aspects of the responses you get, then skip this exercise.

Why Try This?

Psychological paper cuts happen to everyone. This quick mindset exercise helps process small emotional hurts you might otherwise attempt to ignore. It provides practice with different thinking tools exactly when you need them. Learning research shows that giving people a tool at the moment they've encountered a problem that requires it is a highly effective way to learn.

If a mindset shift you made from this exercise results in you wanting to try creative problem-solving to address your next situation, try this guide.