Japanese Wisdom for a Good Life

Here's some good news: countless ways to seek and find happiness exist.

Many of these ways place the self at the center. That is, by developing our inner strengths, achieving goals, and living by our values, we can concoct for ourselves a fair fortune. In this view, happiness can be seen as one of life’s most consequential DIY projects, where each of us enjoys the solo authorship and responsibility over our handywork.

When psychologist Yukiko Uchida first started studying happiness across cultures, this focus on individual effort was a surprise for her. Growing up in Japan, Uchida was taught that happiness was more relational. It could be found between us, rather than within us. Her studies confirmed her intuitions: for the Japanese, social support plays a greater role in well-being than self-esteem, especially when compared to the American context.

“In Japan, happiness has more balance. While our skills and accomplishments are important, our happiness is deeply connected to others,” she explains. “We can’t rely solely on ourselves, because our resources and power are limited.”

Harmony with nature and one another

Our limitations become especially evident in times of hardship. Japan’s long history of natural disasters has reinforced the cultural value of living in harmony with both the environment and one another. This recognition of interdependence, in turn, strengthens “systems of mutual support” and encourages strong adherence to social norms, notes Uchida.

These systems are vital for collective resilience in times of crisis.

As Uchida’s research following the devastating 2011 Tohoku-Kanto earthquake showed, they also offer insights into the subtleties of relational happiness.

“Even amid the widespread sorrow, many people were still able to experience moments of eudaimonic well-being,” says Uchida.

This, according to her, was possible thanks to a “transcendental” mindset that is sensitive to our interconnectedness and Japanese traditional attitudes towards happiness.

Long-term, ordinary happiness

There are several hallmarks to the Japanese conceptualization of happiness.

One of them is resilience.

“Japanese wisdom supports long-term happiness,” says Uchida. This means a greater focus on balance than on chasing emotional highs or hedonically “perfect” moments. Emotion regulation is more careful and deliberate. Inner peace is highly valued. It’s a patient, wait-and-see approach, Uchida explains, one that makes happiness more sustainable.

Another hallmark is appreciating the small things.

Source: shell_ghostcage/pixabay

In her interviews with community members, Uchida found that many Japanese people define a good life as heibun na jinsei—a stable, ordinary life. A “normal life,” in the term’s literal translation. There is a deep appreciation for calm, unremarkable days and the small, quiet joys they offer. A good meal. Shared laughter. A spotless blue sky. A stranger’s cheerful dog. As Uchida notes, happiness doesn’t have to come from grand or extraordinary moments. Thankfully, with keen attention, micro-delights are always in season.

One of Uchida’s studies with employees from different cultures demonstrated this theory. While American and British participants often linked their work happiness to achievements such as titles and bonuses, Japanese participants described their happiness as modest and subtle—not something that could change the world.

Three Japanese concepts

Exploring happiness through different cultural lenses broadens perspectives, deepens our understanding of one another, and fosters mutual learning. According to Uchida, it can also help us shift away from viewing happiness as a scarce resource we must compete for. When we recognize that people seek happiness in diverse ways, we’re more inclined to collaborate, she says. We are not rivals, but companions on the path.

Happiness Essential Reads

Why Thinking About the Future Makes Your Life Better Now

What If You Didn’t Need to Feel Better to Live Better?

Three Japanese concepts can offer insights into leading a good life.

Omoiyari: Kindness for others, kindness for yourself

A blend of empathy, compassion, and thoughtfulness, omoiyari is an intuitive understanding of others. Considered a core Japanese value, omoiyari has been described as “an altruistic sensitivity” and “the ability and willingness to feel what others are feeling.” Uchida refers to it as intuitive social support.

“Omoiyari is about being attuned to others’ needs, anticipating them, and offering what’s most helpful—even without being asked.”

Importantly, this sensitivity can also be directed inward. Recognizing and meeting one’s own needs is, in itself, a radical act of kindness.

What might it feel like to live in such deep connection and alignment, with both ourselves and the world?

Wabi-sabi: Beauty in imperfection

The Buddhist concept of wabi-sabi is more than an aesthetic that values “rustic simplicity” or “subdued elegance” that it has come to be associated with. Its influence extends into Japanese psychology.

“Wabi-sabi teaches us that life isn’t only about the highs of hedonic pursuits or the upheaval of vibrant happiness,” Uchida says. “Instead, we can learn to appreciate the quiet joy in life’s stable and even monotonous moments.”

As with ikebana – the Japanese art of flower arrangement – which uses both yet-to-flower buds and those past their prime, the philosophy of wabi-sabi, according to Uchida, invites us to appreciate the inherent beauty of impermanence in every stage of life.

What would it be like to pause our constant striving for perfection and to forgo the habit of postponing happiness until everything feels just right?

Ichi-go ichi-e: A collection of finite moments

Translated as “one life, one encounter,” the phrase ichi-go ichi-e is said to have been coined by tea master Rikyū in the 16th century. Rikyū taught that each tea ceremony gathering is a once-in-a-lifetime event, and because it was never to be repeated exactly as it was, it deserved the full presence and attention of the practitioners. As such, ichi-go ichi-e is an invitation to appreciate each encounter for what it is: fleeting, unique, and a gift. “Not necessarily from God,” Uchida adds, “but from life and nature itself.”

How might we treat our moments if we knew that each one was a once-in-a-lifetime experience?

As French philosopher Simone Weil once wrote, “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” What would it feel like to offer that kind of generosity to others, the world, and ourselves?

A premonition of joy

Source: CDD20/Pixabay

Echoes of Japanese wisdom can be found across centuries and cultures: the ancient Stoics, who believed that living in harmony with ourselves enables us to live in harmony with the universe; the mystics, who called gratitude the highest form of prayer; the poets, who instruct us, over and over again, to keep our eyes and hearts open.

Perhaps then, a good life invites us to move through our days with a gentle anticipation of some or other joy.

It could be love, in all its permutations.

Imagine standing on the verge of falling in love, knowing that it’s coming. Koi no yokan in Japanese—a premonition of love.

Or, it could simply be staying open to the beauty of our ordinary days while remembering that we are already the recipients of the greatest gift of all: life itself.

Many thanks to Yukiko Uchida for her time and insights. Dr. Uchida is Professor of Cultural Psychology at Kyoto University, and Director of Kyoto University’s Institute for the Future of Human Society.