Alcohol as a Masking Tool for Autistic People

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Public reaction to Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s statements about autism has been overwhelmingly critical, with widespread condemnation from health experts, advocacy groups, and even members of his own family. Leading medical professionals and organizations have strongly denounced Kennedy's remarks, and The Autism Society of America expressed concern that Kennedy's false claims about vaccines causing autism divert financial resources from much-needed research and fuel stigma, implying that autism is something to be feared rather than understood and supported.

As a clinical psychologist focused on neurodiversity-affirming care, my heart ached alongside my clients' tears as they described the impact of the public statements that "autism destroys families" and claimed it to be a "preventable disease." Working with children, teens, and adults with autism and other neurodivergent profiles, I have become acutely aware of the strengths and unique abilities they possess. Anyone who thinks autism is a tragedy, clearly has not seen the amazingly creative, passionate, authentic, joyful, innovative, and determined ways that many autistic people live their lives. I have seen time after time that environmental and institutional factors cause more distress for autistic individuals than do their innate differences.

I have witnessed the relief, self-compassion, and shift from shame to self-love that late-life diagnosed autistic people experience when they start to view the world, not themselves, as the broken component. I have also seen how alcohol or other intoxicants can become masking tools for neurodivergent people as they attempt to blend in and navigate a world that isn't sensitive to their experience.

Neurodivergence is an umbrella term for a range of individual differences in neurological functioning, including autism, ADHD, sensory processing disorder, and synesthesia. Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) impacts everyone differently, and this is especially true for people undiagnosed until later in life. Masking refers to the ways that autistic people change their behaviors and mannerisms to hide or suppress behaviors and traits related to autism to blend in with neurotypical (non-autistic) society.

Alcohol as a Masking Agent

It is widely accepted that alcohol use can become a coping strategy for social anxiety, stress management, and a range of emotional distress. Neurodivergent people experience the world differently, and often more intensely. There is growing evidence that undiagnosed autistic adults are prone to problematic uses of alcohol or other sedatives to mask or camoflauge their autistic traits.

• Mimicking Social Norms: Autistic people can spend a lot of energy trying to act "normal" in social settings. This might include making eye contact, engaging in small talk, or mirroring the behavior of others. Use of alcohol or other drugs could be another example of autistic people mimicking others to increase their sense of belonging.
• Social Pressure: Alcohol can serve as a way to cope with the pressure to fit in, especially in social situations where there are expectations for interaction.
• Temporary Relief: Drinking can temporarily reduce the anxiety and sensory overload that come with social situations, allowing autistic individuals to feel more comfortable or relaxed.
• Dulling Sensory Overload: For those who experience sensory issues (being overly sensitive to lights, sounds, smells, etc.), alcohol may help dull these sensations, making loud or busy environments more bearable.

Late Diagnosis and Parenthood

Many autistic people, particularly women, aren’t diagnosed until they are adults, often after they’ve become parents and had a child diagnosed with ASD. While a diagnosis can be a relief, it can also raise new challenges. It can force people to rethink how autism has affected their lives and how it relates to parenting.

• Parenthood Stress: Parenting itself comes with a lot of sensory overload, stress, and emotional demands, which can be especially tough for autistic individuals who have not been diagnosed or supported properly.
• Struggling to Meet Expectations: Many autistic parents feel overwhelmed by societal expectations of what being a "good" parent looks like—being emotionally available, organized, and socially engaged.
• Turning to Alcohol: The stress of masking autism, combined with the challenges of parenting, can lead some undiagnosed autistic parents to turn to alcohol as a way to cope with the added pressure and sensory overload.
• Internalizing Struggles: Many autistic people deal with internalized feelings like anxiety and depression, rather than the outward behavioral issues often seen in men with autism. Alcohol can become a way to manage these difficult feelings privately.

Breaking the Autism-Alcohol Connection

For many autistic people diagnosed later in life, understanding their neurodiversity profile is key to breaking the cycle of problematic alcohol or drug use. Recognizing that their struggles stem from autism (not personal failure) can be empowering. Support systems and deeper self-understanding are critical, and these might include therapy, autism support groups, or connecting with other late-diagnosed autistics who understand their challenges.

Autism Essential Reads

A Brief History of the Science of Autism Spectrum Disorder

We Already Know What Causes Autism

Reframe Autism as a Strength: It is going to be even more important than ever for autistic people to view their uniqueness in a positive and affirming framework. Reframing Autism is a fantastic resource for this goal, and I particularly love their Autism Welcome Pack that starts with, "Congratulations, You're Autistic!"

Learning New Coping Skills: Instead of relying on alcohol, autistic people can benefit from learning healthier ways to manage their stress, internalized pressure, and sensory overload. This might include sensory regulation techniques (such as using noise-canceling headphones), mindfulness and relaxation practices, developing better routines, and setting boundaries to manage stress and avoid burnout.

Supportive Self-Nurturing: One of the most meaningful ways late-diagnosis autistic people can improve their holistic wellness is to understand and embrace their unique needs, abilities, and preferences. Instead of self-care, I encourage self-nurturing with these steps to live a more authentic and fulfilling life:

• Increase your insight and awareness of social and cultural training that urges you to deprioritize your own needs and wellness.
• Clarify your true core values, priorities, and goals to see how much your life embodies them.
• Identify how you need to recover, recharge, refocus, and reconnect to live your best, authentic, fulfilling life.
• Define, pursue, and encourage values-consistent changes to behaviors, thoughts, norms, expectations, and systems.

Copyright 2025, Kelly E. Green, PhD and Grind Wellness, LLC