Get In, Get Out: The Psychology of Wanting to Leave Early

Source: Michael Jasmund / Unsplash

Some people savor long dinners, linger at parties, and get lost in the endless slow-burn of a symphony. Others—perhaps you—want things to be over as soon as possible. Whether it’s a concert, a social gathering, or a cultural event, the pattern is familiar: the joy of anticipation, a quick burst of presence, and then a mounting desire to go home. This impulse is often dismissed as impatience or introversion, but emerging psychological perspectives suggest it might reflect something more nuanced: a preference for experience efficiency.

This experience efficiency idea—the drive for us minimalists to extract the essence of an experience quickly, without having to endure the entire time commitment—can be explained by science. Let’s see what cognitive, personality, and motivational psychology has to say about why some of us feel alive at the threshold of an experience, and then a reliably mounting desire to go home.

The Minimalist Mindset and Hedonic Consumption

One reason some of us are ready to Irish exit after 40 minutes is that the emotional ROI of an event tends to peak early. Research on hedonic adaptation supports this idea: We quickly return to a stable baseline of happiness after positive experiences. This suggests that the emotional payoff of a prolonged experience may not increase in proportion to its duration.

That initial dopamine buzz we get when the curtain rises or the first round of shared plates arrives at the tapas place? That’s the high point. Everything after is a gradual descent into can-I-sneak-out-at-intermission energy.

Experience efficiency reflects a cognitive shortcut: Why stay for the whole opera if your emotional response plateaus in the first act?

So if you’re thinking, “That was lovely, and now I’d like to not be here anymore,” that’s not rude—that’s efficient pleasure management, Friendo. Eat your fair share of patatas bravas and bolt.

Time Sensitivity and the Subjective Value of Duration

Some individuals also display a strong temporal efficiency orientation, meaning they’re highly attuned to how time is spent and whether it feels “worth it.” This relates to research on time perception and opportunity cost, which shows that people differ in how they evaluate the subjective value of time-based decisions. For experience-efficient individuals, lingering can feel like a missed opportunity for rest, solitude, or another activity that better matches their internal reward system.

Importantly, this isn't about being impatient—it's about seeking optimization. These individuals may not dislike the event itself; they simply feel satisfied more quickly than others.

The question isn’t “Did I enjoy this?” It’s “Did I get what I came for, and is more really more?”

Cognitive Load and Information Saturation

Another contributing factor for this get-in, get-out propensity could be related to cognitive load theory. Some of us—especially those of us who process information deeply or speedily—may reach cognitive saturation faster in situations with oodles of sensory or interpersonal input. Our brains can only process so much stimuli at conferences, ballets, and escape rooms before they start looking for literal escape hatches.

High-efficiency experiencers have a natural cutoff point beyond which we begin to disengage. We’re not (necessarily) bored… once we’ve soaked in the social, visual, or emotional “substance” of the event, staying longer might just lead to diminishing returns.

Source: Junseong Lee / Unsplash

Personality Traits and Novelty Preferences

Many experience-efficient folks score high on what’s known as openness to experience—we’re game for novelty, beauty, insight, and the unexpected. But here's the nuance: We don’t necessarily want long experiences… just meaningful and/or interesting ones. Once the novelty of an event has worn off, we may look to move on, even if the event is objectively enjoyable. It’s possible we derive pleasure from the transition between experiences more than from any experience in full.

Psychologists call this sensation seeking, and for some of us, it’s less about skydiving and more about moments that feel alive. When that moment stops feeling alive, we’re out. Respectfully.

Additionally, people high in trait autonomy may prefer experiences that feel self-directed and time-limited. Being “stuck” at an event—regardless of its social or cultural value—may trigger a subtle psychological resistance. The desire to leave early, then, becomes a reclaiming of internal agency.

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Applying the Peak-End Rule

Psychologist Daniel Kahneman’s peak-end rule suggests we remember experiences based on their emotional peak and their ending—not how long they lasted.

For us experience-efficient individuals, this aligns with our intuitive behavioral strategy: Leave while it’s still good… avoid the slow descent into boredom or that awkward last hour… preserve the memory at its most potent. We’re basically curating our own highlight reel. Our strategy isn’t (necessarily) anti-fun—it’s memory optimization. Now let’s call that Uber.

A Meaningful Pattern, Not a Flaw

Not everyone loves to linger. Some of us love to leave. To want things to be over quickly is not necessarily to reject experience—it may be to honor it differently. Those of us with high experience efficiency aren’t (necessarily) disengaged; we’re simply attuned to scale-tipping moments of joy. We enter with intention, engage as much as we want, and leave before the law of diminishing emotional returns kicks in. It’s not a lack of presence—it’s a preference for concentrated presence.

In a culture that tends to celebrate endurance, hustle, and a “stay until the end” ethic, this “sneak out the side door” behavior can seem odd. But maybe it's time we gave a little leeway to those who know when the moment is over… maybe we reframe this experience efficiency behavior as strategic rather than pathological.

Ultimately, experience efficiency reflects a kind of aesthetic of living—where brevity, clarity, and internal pacing guide one’s engagement with the world. Not everyone wants to linger. Some just want to touch the magic, thank it, and head home. I'll race you to the door.